Balance

I recieved the following from Steve Hudson at the EFCA home office on the recent book by Larry Osborne. What do you think???

One of the books I really enjoyed reading in 2007 was Contrarian’s Guide to Knowing God by Larry Osborne. I loved the way that Larry tilted at some of our most cherished beliefs about how spiritual formation happens. I was in three different groups that spent some time reading and discussing this book and there was never full agreement about what Larry presented and how we responded to it. Larry certainly succeeded in accomplishing his goal for writing this book with the discussions I was involved in.

One of the spiritual formation issues that Larry addresses is the whole concept of seeking balance. Larry writes:

Does God Give a Rip?

“Somewhere along the line, I picked up the goofy idea that a good Christian could and should live a perfectly balanced life.

Day to day, this meant balancing the competing tensions between work and play, family and career, spouse and kids, diet and exercise, and anything else that resided in natural tension.

In the spiritual realm, it meant finding adequate time for study, prayer, service, solitude, hanging with non-Christians, mentoring younger Christians, evangelism, discipling, cultural activism, and biblical reflection.

But it never worked very well or for very long. Like a tightrope walker forced to stay up too long, I would eventually tumble off to one side or the other.

I’d get up and try again. But I never did get the hang of it. I did manage, however, to get a nervous twitch.

Who Needs It?

Then one day, as I was bemoaning my inability to maintain the balance I so desperately sought, a well-versed friend shocked me. He claimed that the Bible nowhere calls for us to have a balanced life.

At first I thought he’d lost it. He might as well have questioned the Trinity. I mean, come on, everyone knows balance is important, especially for Christians. It’s a popular topic at retreats, conferences, and Bible studies. One of the largest Christian booksellers has over 500 books with balance in the title. Amazon has nearly 8,000.

Obviously balance is important. Big-time.

But my friend pressed on. He argued that my concept of a balanced life was more a reflection of American values than anything else, and that most of the people we typically call heroes of the faith were anything but balanced.

I went home and checked. He was right.

Most of those heroes, if not all, had a single focus and lived a life that, if it were being lived out today, would be viewed as wildly out of balance—in many cases weird.

Noah, Joseph, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Daniel, Paul, Peter, Stephen, and most of the rest were all a little strange. None were what I’d call well-balanced by today’s standards.

Obedient to God’s call? Yes.

Balanced? I don’t think so.

Noah built a nice boat. But he also had some significant family dysfunction, not to mention an issue with alcohol.

Moses was at the top of the charts as a leader, but way out of balance when it came to handling his workload. If his father-in-law hadn’t stepped in, he would have worked himself to death.

David was clearly in touch with his inner self, but not as in touch with his sons—or wives. He was awfully good at carving out time for God every morning, but not so good at carving out time for them.

As for balancing work and play, if David had been on the battlefield where he belonged, the whole mess with Bathsheba would have never taken place.

Most of us would tell Jeremiah to chill out and take some Paxil. Peter would be counseled to shut up and listen more. If Paul had a life coach, he would tell the apostle to slow down and work on being less confrontational and more diplomatic.

Just Don’t Fall Over

When we’re juggling competing priorities, our ultimate goal is not to be perfectly balanced. The goal is to fulfill God’s calling without falling over.

The search for a well-balanced life tends to overlook the fact that we each have a unique calling and role to play. Playing our role well sometimes demands being out of balance somewhere else.

THREE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

I’ve learned to ask three important questions when it comes to juggling life’s competing demands in the spiritual, physical, and workplace realms.

The First: What season is this?

Life is not static. It goes through seasons, some predictable and some catching us by surprise. Each has its own responsibilities and assignments.

During harvest the farmer had better reap. Family, friends, rest, and spiritual reflection might all be important, but if the crops aren’t brought in on time, they’ll rot in the field. Harvest isn’t a time for balanced living. It’s a time for something that looks a lot like workaholism.

The mother of two or three preschoolers has a vastly different God-given assignment while the kids are young than she’ll have when her nest is empty. Trying to balance good care of the kids with consistent Bible reading, prayer, physical exercise, proper diet, time for friends, and sizzling intimacy with her husband is a recipe for fatigue and failure.

It’s not going to happen.

For this mom, balance is probably out of reach. Survival is the order of the day.

The Second Question: What does God want me to do today?

Each day has its own calling, a series of specific tasks carried out in the framework of a larger calling.

Not long after I took my friend’s advice and walked away from the tyranny of seeking a fully balanced life, I began work on a graduate degree. I noticed that during the pressure-packed week of final exams, my well-balanced friends would still try to jam in all the priorities of their well-balanced life.

Those who couldn’t pull it off felt guilty for neglecting all the important things on their list.

As for me, I figured my God-given assignment during finals was to do well on a series of tough exams. I intentionally let everything else go while I studied and prepped.

For five to ten days my devotional life stunk. I skipped meetings with my accountability group. Family got the short end of the stick.

I did well on the exams.

And when they were over, I found that God hadn’t disowned me, the accountability group was still meeting, and my family hadn’t fallen apart.

To do one thing well always means not doing so well on something else. That’s why the best question to start each day with is not ‘What’s out of balance?’ It’s ‘What does God want me to do today?’

The Third Question: Is anything so out of balance that it’s beginning to harm my health,

relationships, or walk with God?
That’s not an easy one to answer.

In the end, this is a question best answered by an honest look in the mirror coupled with feedback from those who know us best.

I have a friend who married what I’ll charitably call a high-maintenance wife. For him, carefully balancing work and family time is essential. It’s much more important than if he’d married a more independent and secure spouse. Without it, his marriage wouldn’t last.

I have another friend who’s so influenced by his environment that for the sake of his walk with God, he changed careers in midlife. For him, a rigid and well-balanced schedule of work, Bible study, and family time is absolutely essential. Without it, he can’t seem to stay on track.

FINDING THE SWEET SPOT

Appropriate balance can’t be defined by a schedule or a checklist. It’s defined by that sweet spot where we’re pursuing whatever helps us play out our role better, avoiding whatever sidetracks us or causes us to fail, and ignoring most of the rest.”
(Excerpts from pages 151-157)

My life reflects the tension of trying to live in balance. It’s a great concept, but it’s really hard to live on a day-to-day basis. So this month I’m praying that you will have clarity on what season this is in your life, what God wants you to do today, and if there is anything so out of balance that it’s beginning to harm your health, relationships or walk with God. If you and I can get a handle on those three questions, we’ll do a lot better living proactively in the each day of our lives rather than struggling with the balance battle.